Kite Purity Test

This was first published in rec.kites back in Christmas 1996. It has been updated slightly. It is modelled shamelessly on the alt.*** purity test.

Score one point if you:

Can recognise the difference in the sound of your sewing machine as the lower bobbin is running out of thread
Can say “kite” in 5 different languages
Can spell Wolfgang and Nop’s last names
Have a kite web page
Have a sleeving needle, fid or bridle tool about your person. Right now
Have already flown a kite today
Have an internet account or machine name which includes “kite” or similar
Have attended a Buggy Boogie Thang or NABX
Have attended a casualty department because of a kite flying injury
Have attended a kite workshop
Have attended an AKA convention
Have attended kite festivals in 3 or more continents
Have been DQ’d from a kite competition (fight/stunt/construction/buggy race)
Have been accused of being a “Festival Head”
Have been arrested for kite flying
Have been buzzed by Stafford Wallace
Have been inside a Mega Kite (500m^2 or larger)
Have been insulted by Frank Kenisky
Have been on clearly identified as a kiteflier on broadcast Television
Have been to the Fano festival
Have bought kite line or fabric in bulk
Have bought or sold a kite by email with someone you have never met
Have broken a world record recognised by Kitelines or the AKA record committee
Have broken line rated at more than 300lb
Have broken or lost someone else’s kite
Have buggied Nekkid and got the pin to prove it
Have built a historic kite (Cody, French war, Eddy) from authentic materials
Have built a kite from trash
Have built a kite to your own, original design
Have built an applique’d kite
Have called out professionals (crane, electricity, fire) to retrieve a kite
Have caught a Revolution you were flying
Have deliberately flown a kite to the end of the line, then let it go
Have destroyed a kite beyond repair
Have died ripstop
Have dropped your Fauna by chute from a kite
Have exchanged pins with Dave Gomberg
Have experienced AoxomoxoA
Have flown Natalie’s Legs
Have flown a Bob Ingraham delta
Have flown a Gyro Kite
Have flown a chinese dragon train
Have flown a cow windsock
Have flown a fighter from a flat roof
Have flown a kite >100′ long (tail included)
Have flown a kite before the age of 5 years
Have flown a kite smaller than 1 square inch
Have flown a kite whilst wearing fancy dress
Have flown a rotor kite (eg: UFO Sam)
Have flown an arch
Have flown at night
Have flown during a solar or lunar eclippse
Have flown indoors
Have flown through a dogstake
Have forgone your scheduled competition slot in order to help marshal etc.
Have given a kite away to a stranger (someone who’s name you don’t know)
Have got a kite stuck up a tree
Have had an article publised in a kite magazine
Have ice buggied
Have kite sailed
Have kite stickers on your car
Have kite-fished
Have lost a kite
Have maintained a kite FAQ for a forum or discussion group
Have marshaled or judged in a competition or race
Have met Corey Jensen inside Windbourne Kites
Have organised a kite festival
Have packed away a maxi kite for someone else
Have paid excess baggage for your kites
Have participared in a kite fight (Indian, Rokkaku or other)
Have participated in #kites on irc
Have participated in a Lee Toy Memorial project or contributed towards the Ray Bethel bench
Have participated in a sweet or egg drop
Have performed “groundwork” over and in water
Have performed a 360 outside
Have performed a Full Andrew
Have performed an Axel
Have played with one of George Peter’s non-kite toys (blowdarts, lizards)
Have published a kite book
Have retrieved files from the original Hawaii FTP archive
Have seen Leter Lynn naked
Have started a kite organisation which now has more than 10 members
Have taken a Kite Aerial Photograph
Have taken dirty kites into the shower with you
Have taken sick-leave to go kite flying
Have tandem buggied
Have used a kite for lifting a radio ariel
Have watched a Dodd Gross Kite video
Have won a beer-lifting competition
Have won in a kite competition (fight/stunt/construction/buggy race)
Have worked on a kite buildng project today
Have worn a Peter Lynn hat
Have worn out a sewing machine
Have worshiped Tim Benson
Own 5 or more kite T-shirts
Own a kite built by someone who’s now dead
Own a kite with some pink in the sail
Own a unique kite. (built unique, not broken or modified uniquely)
Own more kites than fit in your kite bag
Subscribe to a kite magazine that’s not printed in your native language

I scored 62 in 1996. I’m now at 72 now (and I didn’t hit any of the “today” questions). Drop me a line by email with your name and score and I’ll compile a result table.

Andrew

Reprinted with permission from – http://www.tug.com/blog/2012/02/01/01.html
.

[box type=”info” style=”rounded” border=”full”]Editor’s Note:

As of this publishing, the Kitelife.com staff scores:

John B – 47
Spence W – 42
David H – 49[/box]

Kiting Experience

Andrew Beattie